Time Flies

It's been a while since I have been here last. I can't believe it's actually been a few days. Today was one of my bad fibro days and felt as though someone hit me with a bat. Hours went by before I could actually do anything truly funtional. It took forever to feed my two friends this morning, yet they were understanding. As long as I moved, even in slow motion, they were happy. Well, just thought to stop by before crawling into bed. Literally...LOL

The Dyslexia Element

Ever since I had a head injury in 1984, I have suffered from dyslexia. It kind of kept me out of finishing my college degree and other aspects that I wanted to do. It's okay though, I feel much of the problem has been healed today and even though illness seems to enjoy sneaking up on me, I never give up. Some days when I write my books, it's a mess of jumble or ass-backwards--lol-but I feel that everything happens for a reason. Maybe having all of these problems helps me to work harder and not be lazy.

Even though, my best days may not be another person's best day, there is so much gratitude if I even get a page done. The most problem is the editing of a book and between the fibromyalgia fog and dyslexia, it can be quite a game. LOL.

Even though the pain can be excruciating and my mind spaghetti, I still feel that God guides me to get through the day. Many have it worse than me. I know this. Some of my most wonderful friends have passed away, and I always felt that they had so much more to live for than I did. In my heart of hearts though, I know that there is a reason for my existance. There is a reason why I even have to deal with this stuff every day.

Living with an attitude of gratitude truly helps. Being clean and sober for one thing (for almost 22 years) has been a true blessing and miracle as well. After my head injury silencing the depression-I felt as though drinking would help. Well, it didn't. So I quit drinking for my son, because at the time, I couldn't do it for myself.

So okay, today life is harder than some people have it, yet I know that Jesus is on my side and that I am accomplishing good-one day at a time.

There are days I really have to pray to write and ask for help when the dyslexia is harder than other times. Even if I write for 15 minutes, then there is a huge feeling of accomplishment.

God is good. I need to remember this every moment of every day, and not allow naysayers to live in my head.

Woke Up Depressed

This morning I woke up feeling really down and angry with the world. It must of somehow been a bad night, so I decided to go for a power walk, pray and felt much better. I hugged my animals and fed them too and thought about weeding the garden, only it's quite hot right now. So I am here. LOL. The power walk really helped. Even though, illness has been something that I deal with on a daily basis, I am finding out that excercise and healthier eating (not a perfect science for me, mind you), has helped. So everything that I do is based on one day at a time.



I need to clean today...LOL, but instead I will probably work on my book. Cleaning can wait. Creativity is always first...well except for my 4 legged kids.

Do You Throw Away Miracles?

People never cease to amaze me. I am firm believer in Faith, angels, Jesus (#1) and miracles. I have been obsessing lately over my neighbor. Not that he interests me, because he is a mess, but he has this tendency to make deals with God. I don't believe in making deals with God. One needs to be careful what they wish for, no matter what/who they believe. Whether one believes in God or not (which I do), the Universes power is much stronger than we can ever imagine. For me I believe that God's power is stronger than ever imagined. For me I need to make this about the Lord, but people have the choice to believe in whatever they chose.

The bottom line is this man has been healed of the disease and I am grateful that God has helped him. What hurts is to see how this man's behavior has changed. I wish I could say it's for the best, but he has been doing some really nasty things. He is into porn and looking for threesomes, he is on Craig's List looking for sex. What is so sad is that he has a young daughter who lives with him. It just hurts my soul to see this kind of behaviour when a miracle is given. People forget to get down on thier knees.

He also has been very cruel to me, with his new found miracle. I am just a joke to him. We were I thought friends, but he has been really rude and inappropiate to me. We are NOT involved in any way. We are next door neighbors. I never was into him any more than a fellow soul caring for another, and my heart went out to his 12 year old daughter, because she has some problems and is so unhappy. Rarely did we speak except to say "Hello" on my way out to the car or to walk my dog, yet around the Holidays he spoke of depression and killing himself often. He would just have his head down and sit outside smoking. This went on for a couple of weeks...every time I saw him...so as a nieghbor and fellow being, I knew that something needed to be done to help this man. So, I called a counselor friend and they spoke to him and between us both, he went to a doctor for medication (counseling?) and for a few months, my friend and I would have him and his daughter over for dinner or coffee (at my place) to see how he was. He started to do much better and it was noticable that this disease that he had (which was a immune disorder) was doing much, much better.

I have had to just pray and put them into God's hands. It's not my place to interfere or even say anything. Do I feel anger? Yes, and that too, I need to turn over to the Lord. Oh, I am not angry for me...the anger comes from seeing what incredible gifts the Lord gives and how people just toss him aside when they are well.

Sure we forget at times what God does for us. We are human/falible. It's just that no matter what and what I am going through-whether God gives me the time or day or if he is too busy--i know in my heart that I need to keep my morals and values intact, and that I abide by the Bible and 10 Commandments. I am grateful that I don't use people, even though because of my nature, unfortunately, I have been stomped on. It hurts for a while but i know in my heart that God is in control, not me. All we can do is reach out and hope others will go to a place of worship.

I am grateful to know that God loves me--even with my faults. It just saddens me when people go out of their way to hurt or use others, especially when they use the Lord as a wolve would in sheep's clothing.

Thank you God for the lessons that I have learned in life and for allowing me to be a better person. Everyone else, I just pray for or lay in the Lord's hands. There is nothing more to be done, then the be an example of what Christ would do.
Blessings.

The Movie "Honey"

My gosh I couldn't believe that great movie that I saw on MTV tonight. That's right, old broad watched an MTV movie. The movie was "Honey" with Jessica Alba. This was a great movie for teens. It was about hip hop dancing. Did I just say that? Yupper, but I have to tell you the storyline was great and Jessica Alba was awesome. Just had to write this. Thanks MTV for putting something DECENT on for the teens, and us old farts too!

Oh To Be Young and Beautiful Again-LOL!

Today was one of my better days. There wasn't as much pain and even though I had to go to the doctor, I feel kind of giddy and just want to be joyful and have been most of the day. Oh the title of this blog...lol...it's funny because if one wants attention today online (twitter for ex:) I notice that all of the super gorgeous people get the followers and the write backs. That's okay. I have a few friends that talk to me and that is cool.

I am just feeling like skipping today. LOL. Though I probably can't get off the ground!

My sunflowers are just gorgeous and my plants are blooming (I guess that's how God feels when he sees all of the beauty in the Universe that He created).

Anyway, it's been a good day, and I will keep it at that. Tomorrow I have some medical tests and I feel great about them.

So life is just full of joy and blessed!

Love, Honor and Loyalty and the F-word

When I was growing up a young lass, we were taught respect, love, honor, loyalty and other important values in life. I am wondering what happened to those incredible values and morals the older I become. Joy Behar on the television show "The View" yesterday was talking about the F word and how it would be fine if kids used it. "It is only a word," she blurted. She was a school teacher? This is the SAME celeb who was appalled at the use of the N-word. Both of those words are just as damaging and disgusting for any one to use.
Do the celebs feel that they can say anything just to get attention and to hell with all that watch the show? Of course the F word is just a word, but what it means is pretty disgusting. So disgusting in fact, that our society feels that they can just live in the F-Word without any feelings or respect for another human being. This is scary, especially for the younger generation who live on computers and are stuck in a world of greed, and life that has a race with destiny.
Men and women, have really no true love for each other any more as the word love is an alien word from another plantet. When two people do commit to love each other, oh my gosh, life feels as though there may be hope: yet greed has sunk many a marriage.
The greed of conquest: Whether financial or lust has me very sad when I look at the human condition. It also makes me wonder what happened to the Bible and one's love of Jesus and those who say that they are Christian yet spend their days on Sex Internet Sites.

Every day teachers, firemen, politicians, law enforcement officers, Service People, and other high quality jobs are being arrested for hurting a child or being arrested for child pornography. This just boggles my mind.
Where are we going? What is happening to our children? How come we allow celebrities to run our lives and tell us what is okay and not okay?

My heart aches.