How I think

Copied from my nutang blog account

I thought and thought last night over my situation with my Pastor. She is an incredible person, yet I feel so confused. I prayed yesterday and still have no answer as to have done the wrong thing ref this homeless shelter situation.So this is what I don't understand:If we need to pray first about everything then why didn't we pray first before calling the shelter or deciding who to help? I feel that calling a homeless shelter and asking what they need is a commitment in itself. This particular shelter needs help and they are probably used to bogus calls or false promises. I told them when they advised what was needed that I would see what I can do, but you know my heart is very heavy right now. Good intentions mean nothing to me unless followed through. Our society is based on intentions yet people want to just have a feel good feeling, without the footwork. Unless i am ill or can not do something, I have to be honest in where I am or what I do. I was thinking about Jesus today. When He turned the water into wine or feed thousands did He think to Himself "Hmmmm, should i do this or not...maybe I should help another town instead of this one? Let me think about this? What would serve me better? I will maybe come back another time to this town?"Um, I don't think so. I feel that when Jesus saw a need, He had the Faith in His Father God to be able to help those in need. Prayer is very important to me. God knows that I am not perfect, but He knows my heart. Even being disabled and one second from losing my own home again, (the way the economy is - no one is safe) I still in my heart of hearts want to see children fed and a roof over their heads. I feel in the greatest country in the world there is no excuse for homelessness, poverty or people not being to eat proper food. My heart goes out to the elderly eating cat food to survive or people eating out of garbage cans. No child should be living on an empty stomach or not be able to be helped with medical needs. That's why I have so much respect for Johnna Crider (Art4thehomeless) and Pastor Estell's group SOS (Shedding our Silence). It took me so long to heal from abuse and find a home and healthy food to survive on. I don't have much, but I feel blessed with graditude. Faith, prayer and the ture love of Jesus, can open doors we never could see with our eyes. This is how I truly believe from my own experience, strength and hope. Thank you for allowing me to feel...believe and pray. Author,D'Maria